This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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