Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
