Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
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As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
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I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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