I look better un-naked...
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
