Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
