I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
