"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize