Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
