Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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