can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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