Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize