Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
