Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
