yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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