nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Randomize
