People in love make me want to vomit
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize