I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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