margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
