Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
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Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
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Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!