i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.