Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
