If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i just wanna soil my oats bro
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
