Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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