Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
handjob tips. give me some.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
