A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize