ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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