so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
