nut hugger
babies were throwing up all over the place
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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