...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
