just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
