do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
