the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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