Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
