I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
They took my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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