You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
