gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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