ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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