sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
