Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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