I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
