Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
