Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize