remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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