Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
