When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
