dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
