I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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