hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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