i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
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You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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