There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize