I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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