what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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