Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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