Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
