i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
